Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
not ubering you a puppy
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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