I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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