East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
