remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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