I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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