i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
