she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
