I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
