you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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