I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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