my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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