I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
