Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
