Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
