forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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