Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
