There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
