we have pet lesbian snakes
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
