so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize