i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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