You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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