At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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