Sorry, I don't speak sober.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
