Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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