okay pat passed out under dana's car
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
