Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
