Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
