none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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