apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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