help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
