Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize