Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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