The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
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How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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