i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Less talking, more tequila
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
