her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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