Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
