i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
