So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
