there's paper in my vomit.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
