Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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