Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
