As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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