i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I would fuck him just for his dog
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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