Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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