You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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