just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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