i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
