I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
