Can Purell be used as lube?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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