What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
