i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
