He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
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