I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
