i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
