Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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