Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
