Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
