I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
