Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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