He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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