You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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