It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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