yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
