Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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